When Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in 2018, the world saw it as a modern fairytale — Hollywood glamour merging with centuries of monarchy.

But behind the scenes, the dream quickly lost its shine. Along with her marriage, Meghan entered a rigid royal hierarchy where Kate Middleton, the future queen, would always outrank her — a reality she reportedly despised.

Expectations vs. Reality

Author Tom Quinn, in his book Gilded Youth: An Intimate History of Growing Up in the Royal Family, argues that Meghan struggled with the gap between her expectations and the monarchy’s rules.

“Never in royal history had someone’s expectations clashed so dramatically with reality,” Quinn wrote. “Meghan, who came from a world where she was used to making her own choices, suddenly found herself in a rigid institution that told her where to go, what to say, and even what to wear.”

A former Kensington Palace staffer, quoted in the book, remembered Meghan’s disillusionment:]

“She was dazzled by the worldwide fame that being a princess would bring, but she was shocked by the Palace protocol and by the fact that she was not and never could be first in the pecking order. She hated being a second-rate princess – second to Catherine Middleton, I mean. She thought she would be living in Windsor Castle, for example, and just couldn’t believe it when she and Harry were given Nottingham Cottage on the grounds of Kensington Palace.”

Always in Kate’s Shadow

As the wife of the heir to the throne, Kate Middleton was guaranteed higher status, more responsibilities, and a secure future. Meghan, as Harry’s wife, would inevitably stand behind her sister-in-law.

The staffer added: “I don’t think in the whole of history there was ever a greater divide between what someone expected when they became a member of the royal family and what they discovered it was really like. She was hugely disappointed. She was a global superstar but was being told what she could and could not do, what she could and could not say. She hated it.”

Frustrations and Disillusionment

That sense of limitation soon turned to open frustration, according to insiders. Grant Harrold, a former butler to King Charles, said Meghan’s expectations of royal life were far removed from reality.

“I think the problem with Markle is that she went into the organization and she assumed that after watching all the Disney princesses that she thought it was going to be like that,” Harrold explains in his new book The Royal Butler. “When you join the royal family, you are given rules and protocols to follow.”

Meghan’s arrival also marked a major shift for Prince Harry himself. Harrold reflected: “As soon as Markle came into his life, everything changed. It could be that Harry had his own awakening and suddenly decided he didn’t like the organization, but the problem is that Markle was with him when it happened. The biggest change in Harry’s life is Markle.”