My daughter labeled me a “toxic mother” online. Now I can’t even face the outside world…
I’ve always been a firm woman, but I believed I was fair. For three decades, I worked as a teacher in a small countryside school, guiding generations of students. In our quiet village in Castilla, I was once respected, even admired. But now, everything has changed.
My daughter is Nuria. She’s thirty-two. We haven’t had real contact in a long while. I tried to stay close, but she pulled away.
I couldn’t understand why—until someone mentioned her blog, where she describes a “toxic upbringing” and a “terrible mother.”
Reading her words broke me: “They controlled everything I did. I grew up fearful, constantly judged. My mother wore skirts but ruled like a dictator. She never loved me.”
Then came the strangers, piling on in the comments—calling me a monster, blaming me for her mental health struggles, accusing me of ruining her life.
But none of that is true. Yes, I was strict—but out of love. I never laid a hand on her, never belittled her. When she was eleven, I didn’t let her sleep at a friend’s house—because I was worried.
I didn’t allow her to skip school, and I enforced discipline. Since when is that a crime?
Because of that structure, Nuria graduated with honors, earned a scholarship to the Complutense University of Madrid, and landed a job at a major multinational.
I only ever wanted her to be strong, capable, and free. I never meddled in her relationships, never pressured her to marry. I only hoped she’d find happiness.
Now, those very efforts are being called abusive. In town, people whisper: “A teacher, and that’s how she raised her daughter?” I keep my eyes down at the bakery. I avoid people. I feel like I’m being punished—but for what?
When did Nuria turn me into her enemy? When did my care become something toxic? I raised her alone. Her father died when she was ten.
I worked tirelessly—teaching, cooking, helping her with homework. I stayed up when she was sick. I made sure she was clean, fed, and safe.
And now… I’m painted as a villain.
I called her. I wanted to understand. I pleaded with her—Please take down the posts, stop lying about me, stop humiliating me. But she gave me nothing but silence… or more blog entries about her “loveless childhood.”
Until, one day… she called me. This time in tears. Between sobs, I pieced it together: her husband, a businessman, had abandoned her. Left her with three children, no place to stay, no money. He’d run off with a much younger woman. “I’m done being a father,” he told her.
—Mom, I’m so sorry… please forgive me. I have nowhere else to go… you’re all I have left…
I gripped the phone. My hands were shaking. Her words from before echoed in my mind: “You’re not a mother, you’re a prison warden. I hate everything about you.” And now… “please forgive me, let me come home.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Inside, two parts of me were fighting: the mother whose heart ached for her child, and the woman who’d been wounded and discarded.
What should I do? Should I forgive her and welcome her back as if none of this ever happened? I’m not heartless. I love my daughter. And I love my grandchildren. I would never turn them away. But how do I pretend her words didn’t leave deep scars?
I’m not seeking revenge. But I can’t deny that I’m hurt. Should I ask for an apology? Should she tell the truth—on that same blog, to the same audience that judged me?
I’m not after sympathy. Just a bit of fairness… maybe even peace.
And you—what would you do? Would you forgive her? Or not?